Tango Treats and Traumas

My recent tango experiences have been mostly extremely pleasant, sometimes disheartening and certainly eye-opening. Floating on a sea of compliments after several milongas in succession, I accepted an invitation to dance with someone I’ve known off the dance floor but had never danced with until then. Halfway through the first tango, he told me I was dancing automatically, from memory, and not following his lead at all. I answered that I was dancing what I felt. We danced a second tango and it was no different. He then muttered something I didn’t catch, but didn’t pursue either. The third tango of the tanda was very tense and unenjoyable and I was glad when it was over. My lead said he’d like to dance with me again, but would try out a different embrace next time. I just smiled and returned to my seat,  my confidence slightly rocked. Since then, I’ve dance with lots of different people, some I know and some complete strangers. Again, I’ve received compliments. Just days ago, a woman told me a very similar story and we both puzzled over how and why this happens, that there’s someone we just can’t dance with – or someone who just can’t dance with us. It’s an odd feeling, but I’ve learned to take it at face value and not let it put me off. Maybe these people are simply sent as a test now and then, both to keep us alert and to make us appreciate all the other tangos we dance.

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5 Comments on “Tango Treats and Traumas”

  1. Arlene Says:

    Ya, don’t let them get you down. As in life, so in Tango. Some people are just not made for each other. Just focus on the good stuff and don’t let them get you down.

  2. jantango Says:

    Congratulations on the right attitude. I agree with Arlene — tango mirrors life. We don’t have to get along with everyone. Often we just do not communicate and that’s okay. I can see no reason to dance again with someone who doesn’t want to make you comfortable and do his best to give you pleasure on the dance floor. You passed the test!

  3. tangobob Says:

    Self belief is something easily lost. I have seen many women destryed on the dance floor. It happens to me sometimes, a very good dancer just does not gel, sometimes I will try another time, but if it does not work well, there are plenty of others. Just so long as you accept, it is not all your fault.

  4. mmews Says:

    The parallel I hope you take from this Tango to life is one that I think/hope/pray that I’ve finally mastered. That is, those people who feel the need to tell YOU what YOU’RE doing wrong, to critique in the middle of your dance, are probably the people best left out of the rest of your dances. 🙂 I believe in you!


    • Thank you 🙂 After many months away from writing here – doesn’t life get in the way!? – I’ve danced a lot more and learned a lot more. Sometimes the chemistry just isn’t right and that’s ok. Most times it is, and that’s simply heaven.


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